We've all heard of the social directing that was happening in China pre-Olympics. The lessons on how to behave, the poor being swept out of the city, the instructions on how to applaud and cheer the national athletes. Walking down a small street the other night, we stumbled upon these guidelines, posted as massive posters down the long gate of a park, for all to see.

The photographs are a bit rough as there were too many reflections, but I've posted the most interesting ones here, along with transcription. Some rules are perfectly logical and seemingly obvious (no litter), some questionable (wait, so exactly which of our traditional customs are backwards, anyway?), and some downright hysterical (don't pick the trees or flowers)!

These aren't all of them, just some of the best. There's one that directed locals not to hiss at people's pets, but somehow I missed that one… darn.

Civilized Rules for Capital Citizen

Love the motherland. love Beijing. Keep national solidarity and harmony. Maintain social stability.

Loving labor, dedication, honesty and trustworthiness, thrift and frugality.

Abide by the law. Maintain order. Get ready to help others for a just cause. Boost healthy trends.

Beautify city's landscape. Pay an attention to personal hygiene. Make capital green and protect environment.

Concern collective. Take good care of public property. love to do public things and preserve the cultural relics.

Advocate science and respect teacher. Constantly strive to become stronger and enhance your quality.

Respect for the old and love for the young. Respect for military and care for the person. Respect for women, and help disabled people and poor people.

Changing the old backward habits and customs, health living, family planning, enhancing physique.

Behave in a civilized manner. Treat guests politely. Keep conscience generous-minded and take pleasure in helping others.

Civilized Rules for Residents

Improve environment and sanitation with no spitting and no litter.

Maintain terrace and stairways clean with no items and no waste.

Maintain the neighborhood courtyard environment tidy.

Park and dry layette in proper place.

Love flowers and trees. Do not trample on the lawn and pick trees or flowers.

You should have civilized entertainment. Do not interrupt the residents with noise. Do not drink excessively and gamble.

You should have harmonious neighborhood. Do not gossip and dispute.

Maintain public order. Do not fight and curse, and not violate fire regulations.

Comply with regulations. Do not keep animals and built illegally.

Learn Foreign Etiquette - Be Polite Host

If we present ourselves to be hospitable, considerate, and polite, we will make friends everywhere in the world, which will help with the development and progress of Chinese nation. To achieve this aim, we should from now on learn the knowledge of various kinds of sports games and the etiquette of watching those games, so that we can better appreciate and watch the games, knowing when, why, and how to applaud and cheer for the players. We should behave in a civilized and appropriate way so that the players will be able to achieve their best results and be satisfied here and get back home with honors, spreading Chinese people's friendship and civilization throughout the world.

Foreign Etiquette Taboos

Egypt: Try to avoid yawning or sneezing in front of an Egyptian; but if you really can't help it, turn your head and cover your mouth, together with saying "excuse me". Egyptians hate yawning because they believe it's the devil at work. That's why after yawning, an Egyptian, as if having committed a crime, hurriedly says, "Forgive me, Allah." But sneezing is not always a bad thing. If one sneezes in front of many people, he will say, "Praise be to Allah!", while all those present will say, "Allah have mercy upon you!", and he will go on saying, "Allah forgive us!"

Passion Igniting Dreams, Olympic Games Casting into Brilliancy

Participating Olympic Games, Sharing Happiness

Smiling Beijing, Happy Chaoyang

Grasping Hundred Years Opportunity, Realizing Hundred Years Dream

Great Olympic, Charming Chaoyang

Five Rings, Olympic Games, Chaoyang

Carrying forward Olympic Spirit, Spreading Olympic Culture

Beijing Realizes the Olympic Dream

Five Rings, Waving Color of Life

Come on the Olympic Games, Cheer for the Athletes

And there you have it, folks. Guidelines on how to be good hosts during the Beijing Olympics, 2008.